


you are the one i treasure, yet the one who hurts me the most

by neverlxnd



Series: kpop drabbles [2]
Category: EXO, EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Kris - Freeform, M/M, Sad, Suho - Freeform, Unhealthy Relationships, anyway, fluff?, fml i wrote this at like two in the morning, i miss ot12, read the end notes jajajaja
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 06:07:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11800011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neverlxnd/pseuds/neverlxnd
Summary: It seemed as though it was never ending. It seemed as though it was a loop put on replay and Kris figured out the glitch.orKris and Suho have an unhealthy relationship and Kris is the first to realize.





	you are the one i treasure, yet the one who hurts me the most

"Is this really it?"

Kris stared at the boy he fell in love. The boy he, still loves, but knows they can't continue.

"We talked about this. It's for the best."

He nodded, he agreed. But that doesn't mean it didn't hurt any less. It doesn't mean that it didn't hurt like someone just swiped a knife across his chest. In a way, that's what he was doing to him. That's what they were doing to each other. With and without each other. It just makes sense to do it the way where they both know they will get over.

"So, I don't really know how this works? Do we just, part?" He asked, his voice still seeming bright.

That's one of the many reasons he fell in love with Suho. He was able to create an atmosphere for everyone to smile and have fun. Despite all of his great qualities, he had some that Kris wasn't sure he wanted to love forever. For months they'd been on and off with dating, always arguing but quickly making up the next day.

"I don't know. This is my first time breaking up with someone while still in love, yet..." he replied, almost dead.

And that was one of the many reasons why they knew they couldn't stay together. Sure there were times when their love was on their sleeves, but most times included them fighting and arguing. Most of them seemed to be about his compassion. He was always reminded by Suho that he's so dead all the time.

' _Don't you ever feel anything? Do you even feel anything?'_

Kris remembers back to their first real argument about his lack of emotion at times. He remembers shrugging and Suho sighing in defeat - giving his voice a rest and going to his room, leaving Kris to show himself out.

"I know," he sighed.

For a moment, he looked into Suho's eyes and he looked into Kris's. For a moment, they felt that spark they ignited when they had first met. Kris almost felt as though they could move past this, like they had previously done several times. But he caught himself and looked away, tears starting to sting his eyes. Even with all of the love and sparks in their eyes, there was their faults and mistakes as a couple. Their flaws. Usually flaws are what makes couples work, but with them it was like a dog barking at them - telling them it's time.

"You know I still love you right?" Kris said.

Suho turned away, scared to fall back into his arms. To keep himself from falling, he nodded and avoided eye contact.

"Fuck," was all he said. "Why does this hurt so much?" He mumbled, reaching up to wipe the tears in his eyes.

"Because you love me. And because I love you. But you know why this doesn't work," Kris mumbled.

"I know, but it still hurts."

Kris could only nod, for he knew that if he spoke more about it, his held back tears would spill. He thinks back to the very moment he figured they weren't meant to be.

_"I think it's best if we just, separate," he mumbled._

_"Is that really what's best?" Kris muttered, stepping closer._

_He began to feel small, as he always did when he used his height to his advantage._

_"Maybe."_

_"Maybe or yes?" He pressed._

_"Yes."_

_"You want to throw us away over one girl?" He asked, a sort of fire in his eyes._

_"One girl?" Suho raised his voice, gaining a backbone. "You call cheating several times, one girl?"_

_He crossed his arms, "you act like you haven't cheated on me."_

_"You can't do that, that's not fair."_

_"What isn't fair about it? I cheated, you cheated. The only difference is that yours was with a boy and mine was with a girl."_

_"What does gender have anything to do with it?"_

_Kris scoffed, uncrossing his arms. He took another step closer to him and stared down at Suho with his brown eyes._

_"Are you forgetting the fact that it was my best friend you cheated on me with? How do you think that felt?"_

_Suho felt his heart thump and a lump form in his throat. He turned around, his back facing Kris, tears threatening to leave._

_"I'm sorry. I don't know how many times I've said that," he mumbled._

_"How about a few more million times."_

_"If you're so upset about it why are you still with me? Leave."_

_"Fine. Are we done?" He grumbled, anger bubbling._

_He turned around to face him, where he was met with tear stained cheeks, matching his. He gave Kris a nod before pushing past him. He made a move to put his shoes on when Kris stopped him._

_"It's cold out, can you at least get a ride from someone."_

_"Just leave me alone."_

_With that he left out the front door and slammed it in the process. His thin leather jacket was wrapped tightly around his torso, hoping the evacuate the coldness of the winter. It wasn't long until Kris had put his shoes and jacket on, following him out the door. The snow was pushed past his ankles, which meant it was probably up to his shins. He found him crouched down on the sidewalk, huddled to himself._

_"Suho"_

_In a flash he was by his side, crouching too and shielding him from the bitter cold._

_"Kris."_

_Suho looked up at him with flushed cheeks and a red nose._ _"I'm sorry."_

_He nodded before taking him back in his arms, cradling him. Suho's body began shaking but it wasn't from the cold, it was from how hard he was been crying._

_"Is it ever gonna get easier?" He asked._

_He looked down at him and for once felt at a loss for words. He thought back to their past fights, this one just felt like an old cd being thrown in the box with the others. It seemed to be never-ending. He thought about how long this was going to go on for. He thought about how many more fights they were going to have before they both realized what should be done. Kris began to realize that it wasn't going to get better. That this is who they were as a couple, and that they weren't going to get any better at this._

_He wanted to tell him this. Every single thing, but when he looked down at Suho with his tear filled eyes and a small pout on his lips, he only felt love and sadness. All at once. He couldn't tell him now. So instead._

_"Yeah, of course. We'll be fine."_

_"I love you."_

_"I love you too."_

_He was hoping he would soon realize this too. Realize that it was hurting them both._

Somewhere deep down during that time, Suho knew it too. He knew that they were never destined to be forever.

"I'm gonna miss your smile," Suho said, a small quirky smile.

"I know."

"You're an asshole."

"I know."

But this time, it seemed like he meant it.

"I'm gonna miss your eyes," he replied.

He had this sparkle in his eyes, but it quickly disappeared when the sound of cars passing by snapped him back to reality. He sighed and took a step back from Kris.

"I'm gonna go now."

He nodded and Suho turned to leave. Kris wanted to stop him and tell him to give them one last chance. But he knew it would only lead them down the same road again.

"Hey," he called.

Suho turned his head to look at him.

"You were beautiful. You still are. The tears you showed me, the moments I had with you, all of it has passed. But through it all, you were so pretty."

One single tear slipped past his eye and onto his jacket. He gave Kris a genuine smile and nodded. He chuckled before he waved at Suho and he waved back. He turned his back and began his walk back to his apartment. Many things were hovering around his head. How relieved yet saddened he felt. His world felt so heavy yet light. But the recurring thought kept coming back to him.

What I’m saying now doesn’t mean, 'let’s start over'. It’s just that I remembered some memories of you.

**Author's Note:**

> the title is from a poem called unhealthy relationship by Jade Hymora
> 
> LOL if you've read this before, that's awkward because I originally posted this as a reader/chanyeol drabble, but it didn't fit. I'm glad I changed it though, this made so much more sense and was better when I rearranged it to Kris and Suho. My ot12 feels :')


End file.
